We talk about self-care a lot these days, and that’s a good thing! However, we often misrepresent the concept. It has become—like so many things today—a trend. When people think of self-care, they typically picture someone relaxing in a bath or binge-watching a series.
But self-care is so much more than these fleeting moments of indulgence. While those activities can definitely be a part of a self-care routine, they don’t capture the full picture. True self-care is about the ongoing, intentional practices that nurture your wellbeing on a deeper level. It involves understanding and responding to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. This means creating habits that sustain you, setting healthy boundaries, and making choices that align with your values and long-term health.
Self-care looks different for everyone. For one person, spending a weekend alone might feel extremely difficult, while for another, it’s exactly what they need to recharge and refresh. For the latter, that solitude is self-care, while the former might enter the new week feeling worse off.
Ultimately, self-care is rooted in the belief that you are worthy of care and attention. It’s a way of affirming your value and committing to treat yourself with the same kindness and respect that you would offer to others. This can be especially challenging in a culture that often glorifies toxic productivity and busyness, but it’s essential for maintaining long-term wellbeing.
The Commercialisation of Self-Care
Because self-care is so personal and varies from person to person, it’s important to recognise that what works for one might not work for another. Unfortunately, this individuality is often overshadowed by the commercialisation of self-care.
In recent years, the concept has been packaged and sold as something that can be bought—whether through luxury products, expensive spa days, or the latest wellness trends. But true self-care isn't something you can simply purchase off the shelf. Its commercialisation has promoted a false idea that self-care is something you must buy into, rather than a practice you can freely embrace, regardless of your financial situation.
A Gendered View
On top of this, advertisers often portray self-care as inherently feminine, using examples that primarily cater to women. This feminisation of self-care contributes to a narrow view that it’s mainly a woman’s concern, alienating men from the conversation and reinforcing stereotypes that make it harder for them to engage in self-care.
Traditional views of masculinity often emphasise strength, stoicism, and self-reliance. From a young age, many men are taught to suppress their emotions, avoid vulnerability, and prioritise work and productivity over self-care. As a result, self-care can be seen as a sign of weakness or something that's simply not for men. This belief that men should "tough it out" rather than address their mental or emotional needs can make self-care feel irrelevant or even emasculating.
What is the Raw Truth?
Self-care is simply about taking care of yourself—of all aspects of the self. You can’t adequately take care of what you don’t know; you can’t meet needs that you aren’t aware exist. And that’s why self-care begins with self-awareness.
Self-awareness involves taking the time to reflect on your emotions, recognising patterns in your behaviour, and understanding what truly motivates you. It’s about asking yourself questions like: What drains me? What energises me? What do I need to feel balanced?
Part of self-awareness is learning to listen to your body and mind. This means paying attention to signals like fatigue, stress, or discomfort and responding to them with kindness and care. For example, if you’re feeling burnt out, self-care might mean taking a break or seeking support, rather than pushing through despite deadlines and productivity goals.
Evolving Needs
Your self-care needs may change over time or depending on your circumstances. What nourishes you during a stressful work period might differ from what you need during a relaxing holiday. Being flexible and adapting your self-care practices to your current situation is crucial for maintaining balance and well-being.
By understanding and meeting your needs on all levels—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual—you create a foundation for a balanced and fulfilling life.
In summary, self-care is not merely an activity to check off your list; it’s a mindset that shapes how you engage with life. It’s you viewing your daily experiences through a well-being perspective.
By embracing self-awareness and recognising what truly nourishes you, you cultivate a deeper, more compassionate relationship with yourself. Ultimately, self-care is about honouring your well-being and creating the best possible conditions for yourself to thrive.