intimacy
[in-tuh-muh-see] noun
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a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
Intimacy is a popular topic, particularly as it relates to romantic relationships. However, it’s rarely used in the context of a relationship with the self, which is arguably the most important domain of intimacy. We tend to crave close bonds with others, without seeking an understanding of who we are, what we want and what we truly need.
For me, my connection with God embodies the intimacy I desire with myself – a deep, loving bond characterised by trust, reliance, and love. The unconditional love I experience from God, feeds into and allows me to experience an unconditional love for myself and those around me.
That unconditional layer is a key piece to intimacy. Loving without conditions. Loving just for love’s sake. Seeing flaws and acknowledging them without judgement. Recognising the seemingly undesirable parts of who a person is as parts that make up a whole, evolving being.
It’s through this that we are able to open the door for deeper self-understanding, acceptance, and if sought after, change.
While the concept of self-intimacy may seem abstract, there are concrete steps you can take to nurture and cultivate this. Here are a few:
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Self-Reflection: Set aside time regularly for self-reflection. Journaling or simply quiet contemplation can help you tune into your inner thoughts and feelings.
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Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer to a loved one. Be gentle with yourself, especially during challenging times, and practice self-care activities that nourish your mind, body and soul.
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Embrace Vulnerability: Allow yourself to be vulnerable, acknowledging your fears and insecurities without shame. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but rather a testament to authenticity.
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Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to things that drain your energy or compromise your values. Setting boundaries is an act of self-love that allows you to honour your physical, emotional and mental health.
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Authentic Connections: Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are and encourage your growth. Invest in relationships that are based on mutual respect, trust, and support.
Cultivating self-intimacy is an ongoing process. It's about showing up for yourself, even when it's uncomfortable, and honouring truth, even when it's inconvenient.
I encourage you to be intentional about the cultivating of self-intimacy. Spend time with yourself, whether through journaling, through deepening your connection with God, or simply being present in the moment.
See, hear and know yourself for who you truly are, and witness how it shapes your relationship with yourself, and with others.
All my love,
Feyisola
Creator of Aligned Hub